Grey Rocking and Yellow Rocking
Grey Rocking and Yellow Rocking: How to Protect Yourself from Narcissistic BehavioUr at Work
When working in a toxic environment, especially under or alongside someone with narcissistic traits, it can feel like your every move is being monitored, manipulated, or mined for drama. People with narcissistic tendencies often thrive on emotional control, chaos, and attention, and workplaces, unfortunately, provide the perfect playground.
So, how do you protect your peace when walking away isn’t an immediate option?
Enter Grey Rocking and Yellow Rocking, two self-protection strategies that can help you set boundaries and regain emotional clarity in toxic environments.
What is grey rocking?
Grey Rocking is a technique used to reduce the emotional “supply” a narcissist craves. By becoming as emotionally unreactive and uninteresting as possible… like a grey rock. You deprive them of the validation, attention, or chaos they seek.
It involves:
No emotion
No personal details
No engagement
The goal is to remove any emotional reward that someone with narcissistic traits might gain from interacting with you. When you do not give them drama, flattery, fear, or outrage, their interest in you can fade.
What Grey Rocking Might Look Like
Offering brief, factual responses with no extra detail
Using a flat, neutral tone of voice
Avoiding the sharing of any personal information
Staying away from JADE tactics (Justifying, Arguing, Defending, Explaining)
You may notice pushback at first, e.g. anger, guilt-tripping, or emotional manipulation, especially if they sense their control slipping. But with consistency, many narcissistic individuals lose interest when they’re no longer getting the reaction they want.
Important Safety Note
Grey Rocking is not always the right or safest choice, especially if the person you are dealing with has a history of volatility, retaliation, or abuse. In these cases, it is essential to seek professional guidance from a therapist or mental health practitioner who can help assess your specific situation and create a safe strategy.
When Grey Rocking Feels Too Intense: Try Yellow Rocking
In professional settings, one-word answers, lack of emotion or full disengagement can feel risky or impolite. Grey Rocking might come across as dismissive, especially when dealing with clients, colleagues, or supervisors.
This is where Yellow Rocking comes in…
What Is Yellow Rocking?
Yellow Rocking is a softer, more socially acceptable version of Grey Rocking. You remain polite and composed, yet still avoid emotional over-engagement. You offer warmth and social cues without revealing anything personal or emotionally charged.
It might sound like:
“Thanks for letting me know”, instead of a full conversation
“Appreciate the update”, said with a calm, neutral tone
“I am not available right now, but happy to follow up at a later time”
This approach protects your energy without coming across as cold or disengaged. It helps maintain workplace professionalism while setting healthy emotional boundaries.
Which Method Is Right for You?
Both Grey Rocking and Yellow Rocking are emotional boundary-setting techniques used to protect yourself from manipulative or emotionally draining behaviour. They are especially useful in toxic workplaces where narcissistic traits may go unchecked or even rewarded.
Use Grey Rocking when:
You can minimise or limit contact safely
You need to emotionally disconnect completely
Use Yellow Rocking when:
You’re in a collaborative or client-facing role
You want to remain respectful but firm
Full disengagement isn’t possible
If you feel fear, obligation, or guilt (also known as FOG), it may be your body’s way of signalling that the dynamic is unsafe or unhealthy. Listen to that signal. These strategies are designed to help you navigate those spaces with greater agency and reduced emotional cost.
Want to Learn More?
We explore Grey Rocking and Yellow Rocking in our podcast series, Narcissism at Work. The podcast is available on all platforms. Listen in at otherbox.co/podcast to hear real stories, expert advice, and practical strategies for navigating toxic workplaces.
At Other Box, we help people reclaim their power by making space for difference. That means equipping individuals and workplaces with the tools they need to name harm, set boundaries, and lead with emotional intelligence.
For courses, resources, and more language around workplace wellness, visit otherbox.co/education.
You deserve to feel safe, seen, and respected at work. Start with what feels most aligned, supportive, and empowering for you.
———————
Narcissism At Work podcast is out now and is available wherever you listen to your podcasts. Check out our resources page here for support. Sign up to our newsletter to keep up to date with Other Box.
