EPISODE 5: ‘Is HR Complicit?’
When Systems Protect Narcissists: How HR and Leadership Enable Abuse
HR is meant to be the safeguard of workplace wellbeing, but what happens when it becomes a shield for toxic leadership instead? In Episode 5 of Narcissism at Work, we ask the question: Is HR complicit? Joined by clinical psychologist Dr. Daksha Hirani and Other Box HR consultant Raakhi Tanvi, we explore how narcissistic behaviour doesn’t just live in individuals, but infects systems, structures, and entire organisational cultures.
What to expect in Episode 05: ‘Is HR Complicit?’
This episode investigates how narcissistic traits can infiltrate not just individual roles, but entire systems meant to protect people. We discuss how HR and DEI frameworks can be weaponised to mask harm, manage perception, and uphold toxic power.
How narcissistic traits exploit fear, ambition, and identity: From targeting people who want to belong, to using progressive language to disguise coercion, we unpack how marginalised groups are especially vulnerable.
How DEI gets distorted: Inclusion is reduced to optics while actual harm is dismissed as drama, hypersensitivity, or a ‘bad culture fit’.
The psychological cost of institutional gaslighting: We hear what it’s like to be ignored, dismissed, or silenced by systems that are supposed to protect your wellbeing, and the long-term impact on your confidence, career, and sense of safety at work.
As well as:
Why harmful behaviours often go unchallenged, especially when "golden" employees bring in revenue or hold a high status.
The myth of HR neutrality and how internalised fear can prevent necessary action.
The role of NDAs and settlement agreements in silencing victims.
How narcissists exploit race, gender, neurodivergence, and other identities for performative allyship.
How to spot red flags in leaders and avoid becoming a “flying monkey.”
The importance of documentation, pattern recognition, and building peer support.
Tools like S.T.U.F. (Sensations, Thoughts, Urges, Feelings) to reconnect with your truth.
Why it matters
Inclusion isn’t just about representation, it’s about psychological safety. And when HR protects power over people, marginalised employees pay the price. Narcissistic systems silence whistleblowers, punish dissent, and rebrand psychological harm as "high performance." For those already battling systemic inequalities, the effects are devastating.
This episode also dives into how narcissistic abuse intersects with race, gender, disability, and neurodivergence. We explore why people from marginalised groups may be especially vulnerable to narcissistic leaders and what they can do to protect their truth.
Key Takeaways
C.R.A.P makes you a target: Narcissists prey on fear of Criticism, Rejection, Abandonment, and Punishment, which is common for people who've experienced exclusion or discrimination.
Silence sustains toxicity: When senior leaders ignore harm or stay quiet, they become enablers, not allies.
HR needs a values reset: HR should be more than risk mitigation. It's time to move from compliance to centring care.
Tools and Tactics
Document everything. Treat your experiences like a researcher, so log dates, details, and impacts.
Don’t rely solely on internal systems. Find external sources of validation, safety, and support outside of work.
Focus on your values. You may not be able to control the system, but you can choose how you respond to it.
Resources & Further Support
Listen to all episodes: otherbox.co/podcast
Learn more about narcissism, burnout, and protective tools in our Diversity Dictionary course: otherbox.co/education
Subscribe, share, and rate the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Acast or wherever you listen.
Whether you’re just starting to question a toxic dynamic or deep into your healing, we hope this podcast helps you name it, understand it, and start to heal from it. Because work should work for you.
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Narcissism At Work podcast is out now and is available wherever you listen to your podcasts. Check out our resources page here for support. Sign up to our newsletter to keep up to date with Other Box.
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